Если баян, то чур не бить

[tyomitch]

На http://www.nice.ch/~felix/sigs.comp.txt нашёл мегакучу приколов, выбрал то, что особенно задело:


bashian roulette:
if [ $(($RANDOM%6)) -eq 0 ]; then rm -rf ~; fi


ASCII art?? I thought it was a regular expression!


"Congress shall make no law abridging the
freedom of sXXXch, or the right of the
people peaceably to XXXemble, and to
peXXXion the government for a redress of
grievances."
-- but your ISP might.


And remember: X Windows is to graphics hacking as roman numerals are to the square root of pi.


Seminars, n.:
From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.


"Programming is like sex: One mistake and you support it a lifetime."


Software and cathedrals are much the same -
first we build them, then we pray.


The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is 9.8 m/s^2.


Give me enough bandwidth and I can transmit the earth.


If a train station is where a train stops, then what is a workstation?


Applications programming is a race between software engineers, who strive to produce idiot-proof programs, and the Universe which strives to produce bigger idiots.
So far, the Universe is winning.


"I've discovered that P == NP, but the proof is too
small to fit in the margins of this signature."


If debugging is the art of removing bugs, then programming must be the art of putting them in


If there's ever a nuclear holocaust, the only things left alive afterward will be cockroaches and spammers


There's no place like ~


In God we Trust -- all others must submit an X.509 certificate.


The day Microsoft makes something that does not suck
is the day they start making vacuum cleaners


"The C Programming Language - A language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language."


Help Microsoft combat software piracy: Give Linux to a friend today!

[Krasavica]

...
Help Microsoft combat software piracy: Give Linux to a friend today!

LOL

[alibek]

ASCII art?? I thought it was a regular expression!

Супер!

[FaKk2]

Хехехе

РжуНиМагу

In God we Trust -- all others must submit an X.509 certificate.

[Amed]

The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is 9.8 m/s^2.

Муахаха!

[Шурик]

Гыыыыыыыыы....
афтары жжут
но БАЯН =)))

[RayShade]

Первый раз вижу на форуме сборник качественных, которые приятно перечитать, баянов

[tyomitch]

Ещё нашёл старые баяны на http://neil.franklin.ch/Jokes_and_Fun/Computer_Quotes :


And it's so portable --- at least, it worked on every VAX that I tried it on.


...one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.


I've finally learned what 'upward compatible' means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.


There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and BSD. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.


People in the computer industry use the term 'user', which to them
means 'idiot'.


And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report.


I have a cat named Trash. In the current political climate it would seem that if I were trying to sell him (at least to a Computer Scientist), I would not stress that he is gentle to humans and is self-sufficient, living mostly on field mice. Rather, I would argue that he is object-oriented.


Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.


Frequently, crashes are followed with a message like 'ID 02.' 'ID' is an abbreviation for 'idiosyncrasy' and the number that follows indicates how many more months of testing the product should have had.


Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies


Power Users think 'Your computer is stoned' is part of the DOS copyright banner.


It's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occured in the Old Testament. This, of course, was when Moses aborted the Egyptians' process with a control-sea...


And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By "they" I mean "computers": I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)


The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.


To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.


The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little.


Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things
they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

[FaKk2]

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and BSD. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

Мама, роди меня обратно!

[hCORe]

Frequently, crashes are followed with a message like 'ID 02.' 'ID' is an abbreviation for 'idiosyncrasy' and the number that follows indicates how many more months of testing the product should have had.

Г-г-г-гениально!

[Krasavica]

Респектище!

Даже если это и баян, и что?
Я, например, и не я одна такая, как можно успеть заметить, не читала этого раньше, и не считаю, что это баян
Порой лучше хороший баян, чем плохой не баян

[Александр80]

ОЧЕНЬ ДАЖЕ ПРИКОЛЬНО!!!

Респектище!

Даже если это и баян, и что?
Я, например, и не я одна такая, как можно успеть заметить, не читала этого раньше, и не считаю, что это баян
Порой лучше хороший баян, чем плохой не баян

Krasavica, я тоже этого не читал...